Hold Mein Bier
by Bluejay Blaze
Summary: I have succumbed... I wrote a reader insert, which I'm told is the greatest of shames. Apologies in advance for cliches and OOC Prussia and Denmark. Or at least I think they're OOC. Anyway, this is supposed to be a fun fic based on the song Hold My Beer by Aaron Pritchett. Not a songfic though, and perhaps a tad more introspective than I intended.


Hold Mein Bier

Prussia X Reader

*Prussia's POV*

_How can France and Spain have paperwork on a Friday? So un-awesome. It's boring to go out drinking alone._

Prussia sighed and kicked the sidewalk. He had declined his brother's offer of a ride back to the hotel, saying he was too awesome for it, but really? He kind of wished he'd gone with Germany. Without France and Spain to joke and boast, there wasn't much point in looking for a bar. As much as he loved beer, Prussia hated being alone. It reminded him of the void in his heart where his people used to be.

As if sensing his master's thoughts, Gilbird chirped. Prussia smiled. As long as he had Gilbird, he wasn't really alone. It would be much more awesome if Gilbird could talk like Canada's bear though.

He was just about to give in and call a cab when his phone buzzed. Frowning, Prussia pulled the offending object out of his pocket. He had a text from Denmark. The Dane wanted to know if Prussia would go drinking with him. Probably wanted to mooch beer off him. Prussia snorted.

_Like I'd ever pay for his un-awesome beer! Since moving in with West I've barely been able to pay for my own drinks. Maybe I should get a human job. It would be awesome to have money to spend._

Still, drinking with Denmark was better than wandering aimlessly around a city he didn't know. Prussia hailed a cab and gave the address that Denmark had texted him.

-line break-

*Reader's POV*

"Where are we going Mattie?" (Name) ran to keep up with her Danish boyfriend. They had only met a few days before, but Matthias had been so persistent in asking her out… It was endearing, if childish. (Name) had never met anyone quite like the Dane before.

"Just the tavern up the street. One of my friends'll be meeting us there. That alright?"

"I guess." (Name) was curious about Matthias's friends. He hadn't talked much about them; he didn't talk about his family or what he did for a living either. It was a little frustrating. Whenever (Name) tried to ask him anything, Matthias would start to laugh and babble about being the "King of the North," which revealed nothing.

As they arrived at the bar Matthias ran up to a cold looking albino and slapped the shorter man heartily across the back. "Yo Gilbert, glad you could make it! This is (Name); I met her waiting for a bus at the airport."

This Gilbert winced at the slap before putting on shit eating, slightly evil grin. (Name) thought it made him look like Lord Voldemort (except with hair and a nose). The resemblance to He-who-must-not-be-named grew when Gilbert laughed. He sounded like a dying snake.

"Ksesesese, ven is ze awesome me not up for drinks?" Gilbert turned to (Name). "Nice to meet you Mädchen. I am ze Awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt. Today you vill vitness ze awesome sight of me drinking zis Viking under ze table."

"Oi!" Matthias shouted as the three made their way inside, "You can't out-drink me! I'm the King of the North!"

"Ja? Chust vatch me!"

(Name) sighed. She never would have thought there was someone else alive who could challenge Matthias when it came to ego, but this Gilbert took the cake. And if the two of them were going to have a drinking contest… This was going to be a long night.

-line break-

*Prussia's POV*

Country music was thumping in the background. The dance floor in the centre of the bar thumped with couples dancing to the catchy, back woods beat. Prussia's mind scarcely registered these facts though, for the same reason he wasn't really paying attention to his drinking contest with Denmark. He was too busy eying the girl. (Name).

She was cute. As a warrior kingdom, Prussia didn't really understand what was so pretty about a toothpick who wore too much makeup. He liked girls who looked like they could hold their own in a fight, preferably with a decent rack or booty thrown in. When they had such soft (h/c) hair and eyes that sparkled like mica… Well, that was just a bonus.

_Matthias is got lucky when he met this one. She's a treasure. I wish I had a Frau like her._

(Name) had wandered off, bored of their drinking contest, to sit alone at the bar. She was sipping a fruity little drink that Prussia didn't know the name of, but that looked colourful and sweet. _Maybe I should try one after I'm done with my beer. New things can be awesome too. Like (Name). I bet she's pretty awesome._

Prussia frowned. If he'd had a girlfriend like (Name), he would've wondered if something was wrong if she just wandered off. But Denmark wasn't even looking at the girl he'd brought. Instead, the Dane's eyes wandered about the bar, catching on every short skirt and low top. His Viking days had apparently left him with commitment issues.

Sighing, Prussia stood up. This wasn't right. It wasn't awesome to leave a girl alone. The ex-nation cleared his throat to get Denmark's attention.

"Hey, you gonna be here for a vile?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Can you vatch mein awesome jacket?" Prussia removed his hoodie and hung it on the back of his chair. "Oh, und hold mein bier. Danke." He slid his latest bottle to Denmark's side of the table. Some things were more important than the awesomeness of beer.

Denmark stared in confusion as Prussia walked away. "Sure bro, but where're you going?"

"Dancing." Not that Prussia had ever danced to country music before. But if the others in the bar were anything to go by, all he needed to do was stomp his feet, clap his hands and smile. He could do that.

Heading over to where (Name) sat, Prussia bowed. "May I have zis awesome dance?" he asked with a grin.

(Name) nodded and shot a dirty look at Denmark. "Of course Gilbert."

Prussia smirked when he saw Denmark's look of disbelief. _Dumb Viking, you have so much to learn. Women want a real man, not a boy. That's why I'm awesome and you're not._

"He doesn't know vat he's missing," Prussia whispered to (Name), gesturing towards Denmark. "You are an awesome Frau."

He kissed her. Just a light one, quick and chaste. (Name)'s face turned bright pink. Prussia flushed and was about to stammer an apology when his danger senses tingled. The albino ducked, pulling (Name) down with him, just in time to dodge Denmark's fist.

"Argh! You jackass!" Denmark swung again, only to have Prussia leap backwards.

"Ksesesese, I know you Vikings like a gut fight, but let's take zis outside, ja?"

"What were you thinking, kissing _my_ girlfriend? I'm the King of the North!" Denmark roared. His eyes were narrowed in berserk rage. Prussia flinched and tugged (Name) away.

"Come on, ve best get out of here. Don't vant you getting hurt by accident."

The pair grabbed their things and rushed out of the bar. Unfortunately, Denmark was still out for Prussian blood. The former Viking was seriously possessive. He caught Prussia and (Name) before they got very far.

"I thought you were my friend!" Denmark pinned Prussia to a wall with one arm. The awesome albino flinched and looked around for something he could use as a sword.

"Vell, you vere acting like ein Hund, vatching all ze ozer girls. Even _Francis_ is not zat bad ven he has eine Frau. I vas simply trying to give ze Frau ze night she deserved."

"Still doesn't give you the right to kiss another man's gi-!" There was a hollow thump and Denmark released Prussia. (Name) smiled as the Dane staggered sideways to collapse against a dumpster. She had hit him in the head with a two by four.

Prussia rubbed at the bruises where Denmark had grabbed him. "Danke. You have a pretty gut arm."

"He seemed so sweet," (Name) murmured, staring down at Denmark. "Is he always such a possessive jerk-wad?"

"He used to be vorse. Ven ve vere young he vas quite un-awesome to his bruders."

"You like that word a lot," (Name) observed, "Awesome, that is."

"Ja. Zat's because I'm awesome, und you're awesome, und mein little Gilbird is awesome. So Frau, vant to go somevere else und continue our awesome night?"

"Sure Gilbert. But shouldn't we do something about Matthias first?"

"Ja, I suppose you're right. He's not a bad guy." Prussia reached up into his hair and retrieved Gilbird. Holding the little bird in front of his face, the ex-nation addressed his pet as he would have a soldier.

"Right mein awesome corporal, find ze ozer Nordics und tell zem vere zey can find Matt. Aftervards I vant you to go to Vest und vait for me, okay?"

"Piyo~" Gilbird nodded once and flew away. Prussia smiled.

"Alright, almost ready." Prussia lifted the beer bottle he'd retrieved while fleeing the bar and chugged what was left. Then he tossed the empty bottle at Denmark.

"Hey, hold mein bier vile I kiss your girlfriend."

The semi-conscious Dane groaned. (Name) laughed. Prussia frowned. Not that he didn't appreciate being able to make a woman laugh, but…

"Vat? Vat's so funny?"

"Nothing. Come on, let's go." (Name) grabbed Prussia's hand and began pulling him down the street. The ex-nation smiled. His people may be gone, but he would never really be alone. (Name) was too awesome to let that happen.


End file.
